The EPIC STORY OF EPICNESS
by EnglishMuffinArt
Summary: "Amazing" - Justin yeung    "Halarious" - Srivatsan Senthilkumar    "what the heck?" - Jack leatherman    This is the most epic story you will ever read in your life. It will mentally scar you for the rest of eternity. You will never, ever, forget this


_**The epic story of epicness**_

_**By Mahad Khan, Ethan Towsley, Ryan Leonard, Kevin Collette, Spencer smith, Connor Joyce, Jack kennerson, Nnaji Obinello, Blake Bormouth, Evan Adair, Srivatsan Senthilkumar, Rahul Ramesh, Ryan Coyne, Kurtis Duggan, Daniel Dukeshire, William Gebhardt, Joseph Hyatt, Partha Porika, Andrew wakefield, Joeseph Hewson, Justin Yeung, Nicholas Slater, Alex Kelly, Jack Leatherman, Nikhil Bodacharla, Mathew Lavin, Shiv Parekh, Kyle Joyce, Bryce Stack, Udit Sharma, and Daniel Dukeshire.**_

_**NOTICE: some of the people listed above did not edit the story. These are all of the names of the people who were able to.**_

Once upon a time there was a dog that loved his master but the master hated the master sold his dog to an evil maniac who was plotting genocide and was very evil indeed, but then the dog ate him. Now the dog had _**accidentally**_ played with one of the evil man's "Changer Device" and changed itself to a human. Then for no apparent reason the old owner spontaneously combusted. When this happened the dog blew up too and its head landed on the king was really mad, he resigned himself as king and became a hobo. After a week, the King was hungry and cold. He was teased by all people and was abused every hour. Until, Ryan Seacrest came and inspired him to do American Idol. He did try out and made it to Hollywood. Later, he made a friend named Justin Beiber. The next week, Justin Beiber was Dead. He had died from not wearing a parachute when jumping from a building. The King was sad and dropped off American King then found a magical rock. All of the sudden, the rock sent him to the Hunger Games. Once there, he was attempted to be killed and was recognized as king seconds before his would be King's remains were sent to China to be painted with lead paint which poisons brought back to life. The King was mad because he liked his beauty sleep. The king then decided to make his spirit go into another persons and to leave his body behind. He possessed a man named Barack Obama. Then he realized that Barack Obama was a president and he decided to leave the body because of the responsibility. He made it look like it was an inconspicuous assassination. Then he decided to possess superman and to be co-captain of the justice league. In the Justice league, there are two superheros that completely hate each other; Phantom Stranger and Flash. Instead he turned everyone into their nemesis' and wreaked havoc on the whole world. Then he met Lobo and together, they started a reign of terror on the entire universe. As there was way too much terror, the universe gasped screamed and jumped of space. Causing earthquakes around the globe. Batman and Martian Manhunter decided to catch the universe in a headlock to stop it from shaking around and causing earthquakes. Then Batman and Martian Manhunter completely DESTROYED Lobo. And the world was at peace again. But not for long as lobo got kicked out of heaven and hell. Also... The king had to stopped its possession on the justice league and started possessing hot-dog sellers. He then began to sell poisoned hot-dogs and strangled lonely customers with his special wiener rope, and once again, the Justice League had to stop him. Then a new threat began that the Justice League had to race off and stop, letting the king escape. After he realized that he had not died he shot a bullet at himself and killed himself. then he came back to life because he is the master of death. He possesses the Resurrection stone, invisibility cloak, and the elder elder wand allows him to take the energy from other people to cast a can go around invisibly and than creep up to Daniel Dukeshire and scare his brains out. The only way to kill kyle joyce was every way. As i said i hold all power over this earth. But of course the king did not want this so he decided to cast a spell so that mars can come closer to the sun to allow living things to grow while he built a rocket to move there. But then, the Baus, Jack stopped him in his tracks. The Baus wouldn't let him do anything until Kyle came. Kyle used his magical powers of life spam and came back to life along with dan duke Then batman came in a jump suit and flew away, with everyone in terror; they were blinded! Well, everyone but Jack The Boss. Then Connor joyce, an alien from mars, came to earth just like the king tried to go to mars. Then it was a catastrophe of people here there everywhere. In the middle of chaos the statue of liberty came alive and stomped on Manhattan. As she did so she killed the king and Jack Leatherman and the other Jack took over the world, only to be stopped by Dan and the real Baus, who came back to life with the help of Ben Franklin. But the others were destroyed by the Martian death ray because the martians were mad at being only living things left was Kyle, Dan, Jack, Jack and The giant statue of Abraham Lincoln. Connor decided to move to a different Galaxy with the king a while back, before the laser used his teleportation device to teleport to a hidden 's ship crashed when he tried to go again and died but resurrected himself and ended up on Uranus. There he met Jack The Baus, who had been living there because he felt like it. How many Baus are there thought the king? There must be hundreds. But then Jack The Baus revealed his secret for fast-traveling, a process that has been lost in time. Than King Kong, DK, and Mario came out of nowhere and jump kicked everyone and drove away in their Canadian sports car. Remember (Canadian sports cars have square wheels.) 15,000,000 years later the world gets back at peace once again. The stone, invisibility cloak, and the elder wand disappeared. Kyle and the king are still living along with connor and Dan and the Baus from the magical powers of death and long life spam used. They all had moved to the galaxy of power and healed themselves. Then Dan realized he had the mystical power of the Dragonborn, and he shouted away all of his enemies. Then he used his powers to go back to he had to make everybody come back to life. Doing so he brought back evil people like Hitler and people that should be dead. The earth got so crowded that it had to start shaking people off as it couldn't bear the weight of all these the Baus decided to come there and shift people from the Earth to Uranus. Then voldemort came and took the elder want and went after an orphan named harry potter. Only he got the address wrong and came to the house of Chuck Norris and his son. They both beat up Voldemort and threw him into the trash. Only this trash was occupied by that monster from Sesame Street, Oscar the Grouch. Voldemort ate the monster but was then pooped on by big bird. Voldemort was so mad he used the Crucio curse on big bird and that made big bird lay eggs. Then everyone fell. When the eggs hatched they were tiny evil Voldemort-birds. They all ran off in different directions. Each one had the ability to transform their beaks into snakes for some reason. They could also shoot deadly beams of green lightning out of their beaks. Fortunately they could not fly. Then when big bird saw that Voldemort had corrupted his hatchlings, he ate him whole. Afterwards screaming and bubbling could be heard from big birds stomach for days. Right after he ate him she vomited up Oscar the grouch who had been inside voldemort. He was covered in snake venom and diet coke. When voldemort was digested the bubbling stopped and the birds disappeared with a poof. This was very lucky because they almost made off with Dumblydoor's teddy bear and Pokemon collection. Then Fahad Lhan jumped down to the earth an took Dumblydoor's stuff and flew away on a magical flying toothbrush. Then he went to Severus Snape, told him he had a sad life and brushed him using a giant tube of toothpaste, the brush and a swimming pool. He severed Severus's lifeline to earth and relieved him of his pain and his wallet. Once he had is wallet (Fahad) he went on a shopping spree. He bought 30 pounds of shoes at DSW and a truck-full of cheese and butter, which he mixed to use as fuel for his spaceship. Then the Big bird starting growing larger than ever. It also had scales instead of feathers. Then it started breathing fire. Soon the world was filled with small dragons running around burning building and banging Walls. As the world was chaotic again the dragons job done they ran to barbie world and started to prance around with there girlfriends and boyfriends. The barbies were terrified! Then the barbies thought the dragons should not be part of there community so the set up a government to ban the dragons. It took longer than expected though and by then people were getting more used to the dragons or getting curios to learn about them. Then the government was angry because the plan was to vote to ban the dragons but now barbies wanted to have them stay. Only few thought otherwise. From the human world Christopher Paolini came out with a book called Eragon. The barbies got hold of it and wanted to do what Eragon does so they took dragon eggs and passed them around till it hatched and then raised them creating a bond between them. Hey off topic but remember Connor ya he started teaching magic to those Barbies who had a dragon (Riders). The dragon is very smart' but however he does not listen to anyone so he just does whatever he wants to do. Then Fahad Lhan flew in his butter and cheese powered spaceship to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, and used his magical space ray to collect all of the chocolate and take it back to his space ship of awesomeness. Then Dumblydoor flew after Fahad on his own magical toothbrush to recover the chocolate. But then Dumblydoor lost the game, and fell off of the toothbrush and landed on a planet that was actually a giant cubic watermelon. Then, a native tribe of trolls came and took Dumblydoor to their village, where he lost the game again. Meanwhile, Fahad Lhan was landing on his home planet with the chocolate, when Chuck Norris came in his car and took back the chocolate that fahad had stolen. He returned the chocolate to Willy Wonka, and went to search for Dumblydoor. Meanwhile, Dumbledoor was being brought to planet Spaceball. Then Chuck Norris tracked down Dumblydoor, and told him that he could stay alive if Dumblydoor could count to infinity and back- twice. Then Chuck Norris left in his spaceship, and was intercepted by Master Chief. The entire UNSC army was in Masterchiefs spaceship, But Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all of them except sergeant Johnson and Master chief. They all stood around, when a Giant T-Rex jumped through the window of the spaceship. They killed it, but they realized it was the work of Fahad Lhan, because the collar on the T-Rex had Fahad's address on it. They sent 30 pounds of C4 to that address, but the package was lost in the mail. The package was received by Ryce Tack, and he opened it and said, "Well, this doesn't look good." He was right. There was a timer that had 10 minutes left, so he buried it in his back yard looking out the window. Then pants randomly took over the universe! :D Suddenly a giant kitten started attacking Fahad but he fought it off with anchovies. The anchovies were from the pizza shop previously owned by Martian Manhunter, then passed onto homer simpson, then to Dumblydoor's 3rd cousin, Ludwig van Beethoven. Fahad bought the anchovies in 2007, hoping he would make use of them someday. Sadly, the anchovies did not defend Fahad correctly, and the kitten attempted to wound Fahad with Too-much-adorableness-a-fobia. He was rushed to the hospital immediately. The doctor was a Korean pop singer from London that was on her first day as a surgeon. She insisted to give Fahad a drug to help him feel better, and poor Fahad, who's mind was corrupted with the adorableness disease, said yes. He didn't know what he was doing. He was given the drug and the drug turned him into an large blue potato. The professional surgeon rushed in and gave Fahad another drug, which instantly turned him back into a human. The Korean doctor was dead because of the fumes of the drug. Fahad's case was even worse now. and after a lot of research, the professional surgeon figured out the only thing that could cure Fahad: expired pumpkin juice. To get this, they had to go into the magical world of Harry Potter. They did not know how to do that. fahad did though. He offered a flying toothbrush he once used earlier. The surgeon and Fahad both flew into the magical world of harry potter, got the pumpkin juice, and were about to leave. There was one slight problem. The surgeon had fallen in love with Bellatrix Lestrange. The surgeon left Fahad to go live with Bellatrix forever. Bellatrix, however was disgusted and killed the surgeon with the spell, "avada kedavra". Fahad was left alone, so he traveled back to the real world and out from the wizarding world, but in the process, (once out of the wizarding world, but still in the air) Fahad was knocked off his toothbrush into free fall by a bald eagle. The eagle had apparently been infected by the adorableness disease for 5 years for unknown reasons. The eagle, hit on the head HARD in the process of knocking Fahad off of his toothbrush, fell to its _**death**_. Fahad Lhan, however, was saved by a gigantic floating hovercraft being driven by a ghost. Fahad, scared because of this, jumped off the hovercraft into the ocean. He swam for 29 days and reached the shore of Paris, france. He was found, taken in, and given shelter by a boy named chef linguini, who was the manager of gusteaus restaurant. Fahad wen't into the house, but saw Linguini had a pet rat. Fahad freaked out, grabbed a frying pan and tried to kill the _**RAT**_, but accidentally killed Linguini. The police came immediately, and Fahad escaped, and found himself in Gusteau's resteraunt itself. Fahad, after being hungry for 29 days, ate some of the food from the kitchen. He was caught, and ran outside the wrong door. The door he ran through was the door to the dining room, where all of the customers were enjoying their food. Fahad escaped immediately, and gusteaus resteraunt was shut down because of complaints of inconvenience and the absence of chef Linguini. Fahad was now wanted all over Paris, offering a negative one million dollar reward. Then a random dwarf started digging a hole, and everybody fell in it and spontanieously combusted. Fahad was found at the bottom of the hole, and was chased by dwarf cops. Fahad laughed as he squished them one by one.

That, is when the apocalypse started.

Everyone in this story came together and joined Fahad, even the dead surgeon. They were going to collapse the earth. Fahads voice spread all over the planet. a rasping, deadly, loud, and annoying voice. The chasms came apart and all mass confusion broke loose, the world collapsed on itself, the devils arose and the world was born anew, the creatures that roamed no longer lived they were all severed from reality by gods grip in anger and despair, .Axe)it was requested that Fahad Lhan and the legion of the STICKS was brought back to life for questioning. It happened so. Bellatrix was also brought back to life, for she was the only one in the war who knew how to use the cruciatis curse. They asked her to preform it on the troops. The devils became drunk, and bellatrix fell asleep. Fahad and the rest of his troops came back to the earth, and rebuilt the world, and ruled it. 2 months later,They awoke from slumber, a deep sleep that had lasted eons, after earths recreation they were locked away in a secret chamber. Bellatrix came down to kill them and rightfully claim the world for her own, unbenost to them she had brought her own legion of enemies, as she approached the rustic ruins a meanicing rumbling emitted from the Epground, the ground caved in and Fahad and His Fellow STICKS emrged, wielding deadly weapons and even deadlier grins on their faces, they ran forward screaming as they clashed with bellatrixes forces, all of a sudden a poralt, yes a purple shiny portal opened up an out came Mados She scream and exploded killing Bellatrix. Bellatrix and Mados fused creating a male creature calle MAHADOTRIX the emporer Fahad had to kill MAHADOTRIX and save the World, this is where the ancients came from the skies above. Then the big bang happend and MAHDOTRIX'S pants blew up. Soon the world was in chaos but then the Baus reappeared and he was riding a maus. the apocalypse was at its last. Bellatrix was at her most vulnerable. Fahad had not much longer to live. The world had not much longer to exist. The darkness spread across and had infected the planet. Earth was in the hands of Bellatrix. Driven mad by all of the powers that she had been given, she bought 10 mansions, 3 sports cars, the white house, and a pair of beats by dr. dre headphones. She was not safe though. Many were in fact, jealous of her. The most jealous of all, was Chuck Norris. One night, Chuck Norris broke into Bellatrix's 7th mansion ( she sleeps in a different mansion every night) with the knife he used to act in his first movie, and slit Bellatrix's throat in her sleep. He took her powers, her powers to rule the world, and her Beats by Dr. Dre headphones, and later destroyed her mansions using a NUKE bomb. Now, Chuck Norris ruled the world. Next, Chuck was going to kill Fahad Lhan. He broke into what Fahad called a "house" and tried to attack him, but dobby the elf said "you shall not harm Harry Pot- I mean Fahad Lhan!" and attacked Chuck Norris. Chuck fell back, and dobby snapped his finger and disappeared. Chuck started swearing his head of, so loudly the world could hear him. Fahad woke up. He had to stop him. His ears hurt though. He said weakly, "c-crucio!" Apparently, and ironically, Fahad was not holding his wand, for he was holding the kebab he tried to eat two nights before, but couldn't because it was rotten. Chuck laughed. Then, the floor rumbled and the biggest dwarf that had ever been seen appeared. The dwarf was 49 feet tall and 10 feet wide He chanted something like "dig.. hole... holdwa... hole dwarf hole..." and he took his enormous shovel and plunged it into the ground, right through Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was dead, chef Linguini was dead, Severus snape was dead, Bellatrix lestrange was dead, the surgeon was dead, and everyone who died in the apocalypse was dead. Well done reality. Except Chuck Norris wasn't dead, he's just too awesome. But this meant the people on Uranus were the last survivors of humans. All of this was predicted by Martian Manhunter who had the power to look into the future. He told Jack the Baus to send the best people on earth who deserved to live and thrive. Jack Cloned himself and sent his clones along with people to each of the planets. Therefore humans took over the entire galaxy. There was a problem though. A form of bacteria stuck to all of the humans, trying to survive and it escaped the earth. It grew and each bacteria particle became a huge monster. it didn't take long for the humans to realize that these bacteria were commanded by somebody. The bacterial monsters became so large they were able to swallow many humans at the same time. There was a council that was called to discuss what to do about these monsters because there were so many of them and they were paused,ready to strike. Whenever they moved they looked like they moved as one being. They figured out that it was being controlled by a past enemy. The council held the best of the best. Then Fahad's face was projected into the sky where the council was being held. The face was then projected onto every single screen. He said "If you don't send millions to my secret adobe to be my slaves for their whole lives... I will destroy all of you". Then he said "You have one hour, not to send all of the slaves but to pledge your allegiance". Then he also said "I know you will fight and this is a display of my power". DOing so he unleasheed his bacteria monsters.

**End of Book one**

**But WAIT! THERES MORE!**

**Read the next book in our amazing epic series coming soon.**


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